Following the outrage over the gang rape and brutal murder of a 17-year old girl, government spokesperson Lionel Adendorf tells women to “take your rape cap off, put your loving cap on”.
Adendorf works for the Department of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, where it is apparently a-okay to infringe on your wife’s bodily autonomy. In fact, women are encouraged to give in to their husbands, lest, you know, their kids get the wrong idea. Because there is nothing wrong with teaching your son that wives are their husband’s playthings.
And to convince the already outraged masses that you are on their team and really mean well, include a hashtag mourning the brutal rape and murder of a schoolgirl. Well, I’m convinced!
A young girl was just brutally murdered, and this – I have many ugly words I would prefer to use, but I’ll refrain – troll thinks it somehow appropriate to not only belittle a girl’s gang rape and murder, but all South Africans who are justifiably outraged at her murder. And then he has the gall to suggest that wives should submit to their husband’s unwanted advances “for the sake of the children”.
If you were wondering what rape culture is, see it in action:
Please email a link to this blog to DAFF Chief Communications Officer, Priscilla Sehoole. Or sms her. Let her know that we will not tolerate rape culture from anyone, including our politicians.
Cell: 083 265 8728
UPDATE: Adendorf has issued a ‘fauxpology’. I.e. never meant to advocate touching one’s wife against her will; it was my “assumptions” that lead me to be offended. Oh, and it’s “affections” that shouldn’t be refused, not sex. My bad. Wives must not refuse their husband’s “affections”. Gotcha.
UPDATE: Adendorf has commented below. I approved the comment because I think it fair to let him explain himself, but I don’t in any way condone his comment for two reasons. First, he still plays the “sorry you were offended” racket, which is not a true apology. Second, I don’t need or want an apology. It’s not about me. What Adendorf did was a clear example of rape culture, which is that men are entitled to women’s bodies, entitled to invade our space. He may not rape his wife, or even hurt her. Rape culture happens on a spectrum, and denying your wife the ability to refuse your “affections” falls on that spectrum. It’s disrespectful to her dignity and autonomy. As my favourite feminist writer, Melissa McEwan, put it:
Rape culture is not, as it is continually misrepresented, a culture in which one can trace a direct line from every rape joke to an actual act of rape, but a culture in which there is endemic hostility to the notions of consent, autonomy, and respect of individual boundaries, privacy, and dignity. The rape culture is not just about actual and attempted acts of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment, but also about all the other ways in which contempt and/or indifference toward other human beings’ consent, autonomy, boundaries, and right to halt any unwanted interaction in their personal spaces are violated.